i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
