My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
