just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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