I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
