i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
