Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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