I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
