Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
