so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
