heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
