sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
