brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
