Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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