Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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