i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
