come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
