saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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