it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
