i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
