quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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