As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
