Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
