Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
