You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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