u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Everclear isn't food dammit
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
