so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
