Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
