In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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