First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
