Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize