i permit you to call me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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