We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
