oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
