You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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