Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
