...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
