Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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