I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You can't special order awesome
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
