Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize