is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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