I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
