Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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