she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
