She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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