If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
