my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
