Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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