I bet he comes in French.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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