Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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