lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
