I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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