fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
