I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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