ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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