As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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