that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
