I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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