HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
